Like a ninja

Hey readers! :)

Haven't been around much because I don't have internet! Or cable, or pots, or pans....
But I will get internet by "stealing" from Starbucks near my work whenever I can!
Hope all goes well :)

Play acting.

I work retail, and one of the questions I ask my customers is, "Hey, how are you doing today?"


Most people smile, and ignore me.

A smaller number of people say, "Good, how are you?"


An even smaller amount of people answer that question truthfully.


The day after my ex and I broke up, I had to go to work and I lost count of how many times I had to ask that irritating question. And what pissed me off even more was when people asked me how I was doing. My automatic answer is (of course) "Good thanks, and yourself?"


Whenever someone asked me that, I couldn't help but rage silently at them. Scream, "I'm hurting really badly inside and my life is falling apart! That's how I'm doing today! But what the hell do you care? As long as I smile, nod and tell you that everything is great thanks, you can be on your way, guilt free!"

It pisses me off, how much I have to play act. We are all human, and we all have crappy days, so why can't we show it sometimes? Now, I don't want to tell my boring life story to a random customer, but one day I want to say, "Actually I'm not having such a great day, but that's ok - how is yours?"

Customers, society, people in general, all tend to forget that although people in retail are smiling on the outside, they might not be on the inside. 


Today, for the third day straight, I had a killer headache that 8 painkillers couldn't cure. So my temper was pretty much fried and my patience with stupid questions was out the door before I even walked through the door. I've been averaging 4 hours of sleep a night for a short while now, and it sucks. But I suck it up, go to work, and pretend everything's great! Now, I'm not a big believer in bringing your drama to work but I am a big believe in empathy.

Why don't I want to walk to our shipping and receiving department to look for a shoe the computer says we have one size of, for you? Because I'm feeling terrible, it hurts to move and you're acting like a spoilt brat, that's why. It's not that I don't want to do it for you, it's that it causes extreme pain whenever I make a movement. Which is every fracking second. 

You might think everything is about you, but it's really not. I hate to be the one to break it to you.


The next time you walk into a retail store and start bitching and complaining about the people who work there, think before you speak. In fact, don't speak at all. Just smile, nod, and say thanks.


And never, EVER tell us we look tired.

Kia Kaha Christchuch

A year ago, (September 4 2010) my hometown was hit by a devastating 7.0 magnitude earthquake that crumbled buildings and left hundreds without power, water or homes.

Luckily, the quake hit at around 2am, when most people were asleep, and there were no casualties. 

Somehow, the people of Christchurch found the strength to not only stand back up on their feet, but they found the strength to help others stand too.

KIA KAHA CHRISTCHURCH

Roses are red, the chalice is blue,
The cathedral has fallen, many buildings have too.
You can rattle our bones, you can rip streets apart,
But you will never defeat our red and black hearts.
For we are Cantabrians and together we know,
We stand tall together, through anything we regrow.

 *Note: I didn't write that peom, I found it online a few months ago. Also, red and black are Christchurch colours, so I changed the font colour to honour the city.
I also want to dedicate this post to my soul sister, Di. Uno mush :-*

My first migraine

It is the most unpleasant experience I've had since getting my jaw locked up after getting all four wisdom teeth pulled. 

The headache started on Thursday, I can't remember if it was afternoon or night, but it was pretty bad. The next day (today) I woke up to get ready for work and realized it was still there, pounding away behind my eyes. 

Bang, bang, bang. Like a pulsating hammer in my head. 

Since I have never experienced a migraine, I thought it was just a bad headache, so I ate an apple and drank some water. Usually when I get headaches it's because I haven't had anything to eat or drink for a while. 

Sadly, neither food nor drink worked. 

A friend offered me some painkillers, so I took one. I really hate pills, and usually take the minimum dosage if I have to take any. 30 minutes later, my head was pounding worse. So I took two more. 

At this point, I had only been working for less than two hours, and I had a short break due. As soon as I could, I took that break, had something to eat and hoped that some protein would make it better.

Nope. 

I worked for a few more hours, and during this time, I began to recognize some symptoms of a migraine - my mother gets them a lot. 

Noise, every single noise, was pure torture on my head. Lights seemed brighter than usual. Every single time I moved my eyes and my head, my brain felt like it was being smashed against my skull.

Since I work in a retail store, looking at bright fluorescent lights, talking to customers while music blares through overhead speakers, today felt like hell on Earth for me. 

I finally, FINALLY, got out of the store, only to have to drop a friend off at her house. But once I finally got home, I popped two more pills - none had had any effect so far - and fell asleep for about 30 minutes. Woke up, and the headache was still there. Only now I was feeling distinctly dizzy and sick. 

It's been over 12 hours, I've taken.. 8(?) painkillers, and it's still there with a vengeance. 

So... how was your Friday? I hope it was better than mine! :) 

Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites.

What a week, what a week. It's getting better.

To celebrate, have some Skrillex.